So, a few months ago I pierced the naughty pillows. So far so good. No major problems. They have been healing so well, I really haven't given them much thought. Ok, well, sometimes I give them a lot of thought, but that belongs on a different blog.
So today I'm at lunch. It's a networking lunch. I'm in my suit. I'm all dudded up. I'm with people who think they are very important. We're sitting at the center table of the place to be seen at lunch. And I shifted. And my piercing got caught in the lace of my bra. HOLY SHIT did that hurt. And I couldn't move. It was the equivalent of being tied down to the chair. Now, that would have been ok, if I was sitting in a position where it wasn't obvious that something was terribly wrong. But nooooo....I was reaching for my water glass. And I seriously couldn't move.
Now, one of the reasons I got pierced where I did is because I'm a professional. I can't have piercings that show. It's socially unacceptable to have the piercings that I do, but no one knows...well ok, some people know...but again, that belongs on a different blog.
So there I am, stuck mid reach, with a look of shear agony on my face. And the senior partner at one of the major law firms looks at me and asks if everything is ok. I can't even speak at this point. So I nod...look at my phone...and indicate that there is a call I have to take. As I'm practically sprinting out of the restaurant I'm trying hard not to laugh, cry, or scream in embarrassment.
With a little adjustment, all was well. But I've now learned what pasties are for. Screw strippers. They're for lawyers with piercings and lace bras!
13 comments:
Cellphone's are very handy for getting you out of awkward situations. Never thought I'd use mine for something like THIS though!
Yeah...naughty pillows. Ta ta's. Titties. Bazooms. Gazongas. Hooters. Love Bubbles. Milk Shakes. My lovely lady lumps. The girls. Should I continue?
Is that your excuse?
Should we call you Prince Albert? Hmmmm? Pgh has a secret me thinks.
Um...ok...you first. I'll be right there. Sure. I'm on my way. Just a minute. Uh hua.
Nope, automatic. All the better to spread out in the front seat my dear. Bwah ha ha ha.
Oh yeah...and to continue:
Riding Handles, Mountains of Love, Mammary Cannons, Speed Bumps, Erotic Volcanoes, Flotation Devices, Chesticles, Yabber Dabbers, French Horns, Hand Warmers...the list goes on
Ok buddy. (A) It's only totally 80's if you were actually getting LAID in the 80's.
(B) They call it a truck bed because some of the red neck mo fo's have too big of a beer gut to actually accomplish anything in the front seat.
(C) It's a king cab. Orgie time.
(D) So what if I have a cutsie air freshiner. It's a bad ass cutsie air freshiner. A totally bad ass cutsie air freshiner.
oh my!! You are definitely the wacky neighbor when Hollywood calls me....which I'm expecting any day now!! (LoL) And,I thought things like this only happen to me....well, OK, so this particular thing hasn't happened to me....but, you get the point....right?
:)
Law Girl: Maracas! Cream cakes! Puppies with pink noses!
Chesticles *snicker* could also be Breasticles!
Hope yours are okay. Well, I'm sure they're gorgeous, but I meant I hope they aren't injured. If they are, I bet a few folks around here would volunteer to kiss and make better! *raises hand and does her best Horshak impression*
Osquer you are so sweet! I haven't had anyone offer to kiss and make it better in years!
Holy crap, that's a great story.
Reminds me of the day I was in meetings all day in my nice business suit, and was breastfeeding my daughter and couldn't get away to pump as I usually did.
Looked down, and there were two HUGE wet spots showing through my suit jacket.
NICE.
bslawg...oh, honey, that photo cracks me up! I couldn't do it though...I'm built like a small boy. I never wear a bra, so if I did the "pillow" piercing:
A) the Pierce Guy would ask where the pillows are..."um, Housekeeping? We need...."
B) I would scream bloody murder...my tattoo was a bitch...
C) The T-shirts would look awfully funny with my au-natural & hardware...
;)
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