One Flew Over...

Having escaped clinical diagnosis thus far in my life, I have never been in a psych ward. Until this last month. I have now become an expert on psych wards and psych ward etiquette. First, let me explain. I'm not a patient, as PghGuy so nicely asked. (Had to give props to my now 1 reader).

Unbeknownst to me there are levels of psych wards. There is the first level, let's call that the "Psych-ward spa and casino". This is where rich people go for a vacation when they want insurance to pay for it. Everyone has their own room. There are reclining chairs. There are beautiful penthouse views from the hospital's triple pained glass windows. Generally it is a lovely place. These patients have a fully stocked "snack fridge", cable, phone, and I'm pretty sure internet. Hell, I was a little jealous.

The second level - and to my knowledge the last - is the "This guy was trying to bum a quarter off of me this morning with tin foil on his head" level. I don't mean to over state the obvious, but DAMN these people are seriously crazy. Their beds are bolted to the floor. Their lights don't shut off. Their "view" is of the back side of the hospital. They do have a ping pong table, but they aren't allowed a net or paddles. Although I wouldn't want to stay here, it is much more fun to people watch on this level.

So today, as I sat in the plastic coated padded chair during visiting hours, I watched the people. One guy laughs all the time. It's not a creepy kind of laugh, it's the 5 yr old watching cartoons kind of laugh. And I mean he laughs ALL THE TIME!!! You can't help but laugh when you look at him. One lady scoots around in a wheel chair and talks to herself. But she has very intelligent conversations with herself. I found myself more interested in the conversations she was having than the ones I was having.

Then there's the crack whore. I don't use that term as a derogatory term to describe a generally disheveled woman. She's seriously a crack whore. She told me. Then she told me all about her regulars. Evidently she has regular sex with Elton John for crack. Somehow I doubt her.

All in all it's a new facet of society I've thus far managed to shelter myself from. I still wouldn't mind a weeks vacation paid for by insurance though.