The Science of Love

Why is it that getting over someone is in no way shape or form correlated to the quality of the relationship. Wait, it may actually be connected. The crappier the relationship, the longer it takes you to get over someone.

If the quality of the relationship is expressed as X, and can be either a positive or negative number, and the time you were together is expressed as Y(in months), then the base equation should be:

XY=Z

With Z representing the time it will take to get over someone. The problem is, time cannot be express in negative terms. For example:

If the relationship was rated as a -3, and you were together 6 months, it should take you -18 months to get over him. Yeah, um. Ok that doesn't work right? And herein lies the problem. Even with a crappy relationship you can't turn back time.

Which begs two questions. First, will I ever get over Mr. Jackass? It's been over a year. I should be moving on. I shouldn't care anymore.

Second, am I wasting time with Mr. Stonecold? Regardless of what we are, or are not, it's still going to suck when it's over. If my past record is any indication, it's going to take me about 35 years to get over Mr. Stonecold. And we're not even dating.

Which actually brings up the next logical thought, how will Mr. Stonecold and I end? I mean we're not dating, so it's not like we can break up. I think he is so confident that he is the one who is going to end it that he is not even thinking about it. But, as a woman, I have been thinking about it. Should I do it before he does it so it's less painful? He's not exactly the most sensitive guy in the world. When he's done, he'll come out and say it like that. "Hey, we're done."

I don't know if my poor self esteem can handle that much rejection. Especially since our entire relationship is based on the physical. For him to say we're done, is the equivalent of "you're gross and I don't want to have sex with you anymore." So should I be the one to break it off first? If so, how the hell do I do it?

I've never been good at ending relationships. I don't know if that is blatantly obvious by the whole Mr. Jackass thing or not, but it's true. Thankfully I don't really need to know how to end it with Mr. Stonecold yet, because I don't really want it to end yet. Maybe I'll let him do it just to save the energy of trying to come up with a way on my own. I know. I'm a chicken shit.