Green Beer Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Oh great day of green beer, fried fish, and whiskey hidden in a flask in my drawer.

I am now leaving the office. To go get drunk. At 3:00 on a Friday. A beautiful 12 hours of drunken stuper awaits me. If I am lucky I will come home with an assortment of cheap plastic beads representing my willingness to flash my newly pierced chest to the world. If I am unlucky I will not have a newly pierced chest in the morning because I will be in jail. To aid in my luck I say the annual traditional Irish drinking prayer:

Oh the luck of the Irish be with me this night as I imbibe in the nector of your gods. Let the green foam of the beer I shall drink stay down. Let me not puke on a city bus at 2:30 am. Let me not pass out in an anonamous bathroom. Let me wake up in the morning and be able to find all my clothes. Let the coins in my pocket remain endless, so that I may buy my friends a round. When my coins run out let there be a drunk and willing man sitting at the bar.

May the luck of the Irish be with you all. Drive safe. Drink well. Sing much. I'll be the drunk standing on the bar flashing her tits. Be nice to me. Buy me beer.