Better Than Chocolate

I'm sitting at my desk today trying my damnedest to concentrate. I'm a bit distracted today. I have about six hours worth of work that I haven't been able to do. I did return all my phone calls and e-mails that had to be done. I don't have court this week. I don't have any pressing deadlines. But I need to bill so I can eat. Unfortunately I don't want to bill. I just want to daydream.

I had the most wonderful, amazing, superduper weekend ever to happen in the history of weekends. I spend Friday and Saturday evening with Mr. Stonecold. WOW. I'd write more about it but I'm pretty sure there are rules somewhere about explicit content. There's just no way to edit it.

Most of the time intimate encounters are enjoyable, but forgettable. You may keep an impression, but the details will be forgotten. There are a few encounters that never leave your mind. Each moment, each detail, each touch, each breath, each sound will be locked in your mind forever. These encounters are usually your first time, prom night, wedding night, or something equally memorable. In other words, they are memorable not for the event, but for what the event signifies.

Friday night is memorable for the event. I am ruined. I have reached Nirvana and that level of complete satisfaction will never be matched. Every man I am ever with from here on out will fall short. I can say that with complete confidence. If the magnitude of Friday night was released to the general population, people would simply become celibate because there is no point in ever doing it again.

But I don't get the luxury of sitting at my desk replaying the evening. Instead I have to work. Unfortunately I can't concentrate long enough to work. Moments from the evening keep popping into my head, and I loose my train of thought. I think there is something wrong with me. Maybe I have a tumor.

I have talked to Mr. Jackass a couple of times. I told one of my friends what was going on, and have received information that I'm being an idiot. According to Mr. Bean, Mr. Jackass is only on his best behavior to get me back and it is not a true change. I believe that is true. Men suck. Some better than others.

The trouble with it all is I want to believe in fairy tales. I want to believe in happy endings. I want to believe in true love. I want to believe in romance and flowers and hearts that skip a beat. I want to believe that even the stuff of legends came from some truth and that truth will be revealed to me. The reality of the situation is that Mr. Jackass professes his love on a regular basis. Mr. Stonecold leaves me breathless, but has never given a sign of an emotion. I'm probably completely in left field looking for love where I am right now. I know logically I won't find it. But damn it would be nice to wake up to Mr. Stonecold's talents every morning.