Monday, October 09, 2006

Integrity

As far as maintenance goes I'm a pretty low maintenance girl. I learned a long time ago that societal expectations on relationships are rarely met. I don't expect remembrances of high holy days such as anniversaries. I don't expect a mental scrap book entailing our first movie, dinner, song, dance, etc. And I do not get jealous without reason.

I have male friends. I have female friends. I do not have sex with them. They remain anatomically incorrect to me. Occasionally, when the conversation turns that direction, flirting occurs, but they remain anatomically incorrect. I do not have the expectation that any man I am with give up his female friends simply because he is with me and they have a vagina. Nor do I expect him to not flirt with, oogle at, or generally harass a pretty girl in the way that men harass pretty girls. I assume that any man I am with is an adult and capable of not acting like a dog in inappropriate ways.

I do have one unwavering, unbending expectation. I expect unbridled honesty. Because of that expectation, I trust that the expectation is being met until proven otherwise. As far as proof goes, the burden of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt.

I have no problem whatsoever with any man I am with, "hanging out" with anyone else. Ex's, women, men, strippers, hookers, friends, animals...I have no problem. But (a) don't lie to me and tell me you weren't with them, and (b) if you fuck them and then expect to fuck me, I have a right to know. Yes, I'm going to get mad. Yes, I will probably scream and yell. But trust me, it won't last long because then I will walk away.

I don't expect you to lie to me and tell me my ass looks fabulous when it doesn't. I don't expect you to lie to me and tell me I'm not being a bitch when I'm PMSing. I don't expect you to lie to me and tell me my hair looks great when I look like a clown. I expect honesty in everything. That is how I judge honor, that is how I judge integrity. Then again, maybe I set my standards too high.

7 comments:

SBS said...

Where is this coming from? What happened?

Chris said...

What SBS said! What happened?

Unfortunately, I have found honesty is a high expectation. It seems so base and simple, yet so many people adamantly avoid it. I don't know if it's fear of confrontation or issues with self or just plain bad human nature, but it's shit. I prefer blunt, painful honestly to a pretty lie.

bslawg said...

Amen sister.

I'll explain all...no worries.

Paperback Writer said...

Oh, I can try to be nice, but my face will usually explain it all. If I don't like you, my face will say it for me.

As for high standards...yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Osquer said...

Truth is not an unreachable standard! Honesty is my number one requirement in a relationship. Keep your standards high! Don't settle! You're worth the best there is!

Trouble said...

Honesty is absolutely a basic thing I expect in my dealings with people. I'm honest with them, and I expect them to be honest with me. I recently had a work situation where a guy deceived both me and the guy I work with on site and have been friends with for years. We are both so angry and disappointed, because this guy totally abused our trust. I'd love to punch him in the face.

SBS said...

Well....explain it all already...
:)