Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Hey...you


I'm not a name person. I can't remember peoples name's to save my life . Truly. It's a disability, although not recognized by the ADA or Title 13. Maybe I should get handicapped plates so I can get better parking.

I try, seriously I do. I'll leave an introduction and chant the person's name in my head (Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kate, Kate, Karen, Karen, Carol, Carol, Candi, Candi, Candi...wait...what was her name?) Maybe it's ADD. Maybe it's a short attention span. Maybe I just get distracted by shiny things.

Life would be so much easier if people just had to have their names tattooed on their foreheads at birth. Or if everyone had to have the same name, like Bob...or some variation thereof.

As a coping mechanism I've just stopped using names. You'd be surprised how far you can get in life with the three toned "Hey...you" and appropriate eye contact. Seriously, everyone is either hun, dear, darling, beautiful, gorgeous, buttmunch, dork, or some variation thereof. I vary rarely use someone's real name, even if I know it.

So, in true law girl fashion, I've taken to calling Mr. Stonecold "dear". It drives him crazy. So I do it more. I know, I'm a bitch. I don't know how long I've been doing it, it's habit afterall. But every time I say "yes dear", or "no dear", or "hey dear", he bristles just a little bit. It makes me giggle. I could call him sex pot, or sugar muffin, or schnookie pookie. I think "dear" is pretty innocuous. Don't you?

I can honestly say though, that I won't stop calling him dear. Last night I called him sweetie. He rolled his eyes. I giggled. I know, I'm such a bitch.

10 comments:

Sean said...

my sense of humor exists solely for my own amusement. if other people get it, great. if they don't? eh... i don't really care. heh. seems like you're kinda the same way.

SBS said...

I am horrible with names myself....this is just another thing we have in common...

Chris said...

I am so bad with names! I can meet someone ten times and still be completely blank on the name. Drinking may have something to do with that...

bslawg said...

sean I'm exactly like that. I have a tendency to alienate people because of it, but it's just the way I am.

SBS - Thtat's why you're my twin dear.

Chris...I never thought to blame it on the G&Ts. Although I know they have been to blame on more than one occasion.

SBS said...

Hmm...Drinking....Chris may be on to something here....

Paperback Writer said...

I'm also terrible with names.

No, I take that back. I don't take the time to learn names.

I guess that means I'm a bitch. Oh, well.

Osquer said...

I'll answer to just about anything. So, hey you is fine with me. If I don't respond just throw something at me.

I want to hear what happens when you call Mr. Stonecold Pookie!

Osquer said...

p.s. I like your sense of humor!

julie said...

I can remember people's names really well... especially at work, because I kind of have to. In fact, I sometimes even memorize middle names and dates of birth (I'm a dork like that).

But it's the personal stuff that I have trouble with. I call someone by their name until I get to know them better... then I hardly ever use it. It just feels awkward. It's almost like a name becomes too formal once you know the real person behind it. Of course, that presents a whole new problem if the relationship changes again, such as with a break-up.

Or maybe this is one of those things that I tend to overthink. :)

Trouble said...

I'm both great and terrible at names. Some names of relatively insignificant people in my life get stuck in my head. Other names, I have to struggle to maintain them.

As far as the sense of humor thing, my sense of humor is very similar to yours and sean's...it exists primarily for my own entertainment, and if other people don't like it, oh well.