I'm Hungover Baby

Ok, so I know in my head I'm not 21 anymore. Logically I understand that I'm getting older. I comprehend the fact that my body will not react the same way it did when I used to be able to abuse the hell out of it. Sometimes I just forget.

I got hammered last night. I'm not talking one too many, I'm talking three too many and then a shot at bar close for good measure. I'm pretty sure I single handedly cleaned the bar out of gin. And now I feel like a great big steaming pile of crap.

Mr. Stonecold found my blog on Thursday. It was all my fault, kind of a blond-thing-brain-fart. But he spent about three hours reading every posting I had ever done. Then we didn't talk about it.

Friday we hung out all day. He was acting weird. Like all nice and shit. But he wouldn't say anything about the blog. So last night we got dressed and headed to the bar. We talked about the blog the whole way to the bar, and through my first three drinks. Now in all fairness, that was probably only about 45 minutes, but it was the most uncomfortable 45 minutes of my life. After the first three G&T's it was much easier to deal with though.

Basically, he didn't flip. He didn't freak. He didn't run in the other direction. But he did learn his lesson and he hasn't been back to the blog.

He did say that he doesn't love me and never will. That I'm not at all what he is looking for in a woman. That we can never date by his definition because he doesn't want that with me. At one point he went so far as to talk about setting me up with another guy. Uh hua. Thus the hangover.

So I made out with random guy at the bar, and ended up going home with Mr. Stonecold anyway. At some point throughout the evening I became Drunky McIloveyouman again. I don't know why I do that. I don't think I love him. When I'm sober I don't have the urge to blurt that kind of shit out. I simply don't know where its coming from. But when I'm drunk...I'm a loving drunk I guess.

He nicely told me this morning that I blurted out the "L" word at least three times. But told me that he wasn't freaking because he knew how drunk I was. I haven't asked him what he said back yet. I'm pretty sure it was a great big fuck you...so maybe I don't want to know.

I need to throw up again now. And I can't get blogger to upload my pic. I hate my life right now.

ps. I just noticed that this is post numbet 69. I am such a child.