The Quest for Normal

As I sit in front of my computer on a Sunday morning, appropriately dressed in my pj's and my robe, I ponder the curve in the path of life. A few weeks ago I blogged that life was preparing for a change. The change is in the process as as I type. Change in every area of my life is currently taking place and I don't know if I like it. I'm resisting the change, as do all elements in the universe when forced to change direction.

I keep thinking I want everything to go back to normal. But when was that? Were things ever "normal"? What is the state of normal? Normal is the idealized version of events that took place in the past. They are gone. They can't come back. And they weren't normal when they were happening.

At some point in the future I'll likely long for this time as the "normal". At some point in the future I'll likely idealize this time in my life and wish for it back. From the me now to the me then, don't. Now is not the time to wish for. Now is not normal. Then is not normal. Then was not normal. There is no normal.

I've come a long way. I have a long way to go. I don't know whether I want to go there, but I will.