The Elephant in the Room

I've been blatantly avoiding the subject of Mr. Stonecold for a few weeks now. We still hang out. We still talk almost every day. We still laugh and joke and flirt just like before. We just don't...well...you know. And it's driving me crazy.

In the past week I have taken active steps to attempt to get over it. I've gone on a date. I've made out with a complete stranger. I've scheduled another date for Thursday. I've even gone so far as to call Mr. Jackass. Yet I'm still fantasizing about Mr. Stonecold. I'm a sick sick girl.

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time letting go of the fantasy. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about his...*ahem*. It is very clear that the amazing is over. It's not going to happen again. But he spoiled me so bad I don't even want to think about doing it with anyone else.

All in all I think it was worth it. All in all I don't regret anything. It would be easier if I could hate him, or drum up some negative feelings to counteract the visuals of the fantasies going on in my head. But I can't. He's a great guy. He's a wonderful friend. He's kind and considerate. He just has no capacity for emotions, at least where I'm concerned. I still don't understand why that means we had to stop the amazing. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's just because the reason it stopped is so asinine and illogical.

Oh well. In the mean time I'm going through batteries like there is no tomorrow. Maybe I should buy stock in Duracell.