Wee Wee Wee

Gushy gushy mush mush girly girly isn't my boyfriend dreamy?

Yeah. That's about all I have to say. I'm all gushy and giddy and girly right now. We spent the afternoon together. We had alone time. He held my hand when we walked down the street. We ate chocolate and drank mocas. It was fabulous. I cried all the way home. Wee wee wee.

I missed him more than I thought I would this weekend. I thought with all the traveling I was doing that it would be easier because I would have other things to distract me. Don't get me wrong, I was still very productive. I still did what had to be done. But every time I would look at a house I would think about him. Every time I drove by something mildly interesting, I thought of him. Every time I looked at my phone, I thought of him. Every time I stopped thinking about anything else, I thought of him. And sometimes, even while I was thinking about other things, I was still thinking about him.

It was just nice to see him. It was nice to walk in the door and sit down on the couch next to him and have him wrap me in his arms. It was nice to have him just reach over to touch me for no reason. It was just nice to see him.

That said, things are a little up in the air right now. I'm either moving a million miles away, or to a million years ago. The fact that I have to be out of the house on Wednesday morning doesn't help matters any. I'm twittery beyond all belief. I'm essentially homeless, only because some last minute developments came up and I now have a potential different home. And I simply don't know what to do.

There is still a big part of me (ok, all of me that won't listen to reason) that wants to stow away in his luggage when he leaves. Not because I want to marry him. Not because I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Not because I want to be the mother of his children. I don't know those things yet, and frankly they freak me out to even type them. But because I can't imagine not being with him. I can't imagine him not being with me. I don't want to be a million miles apart from him. That's all. Unfortunatly for me there just isn't open combat going on in the midwest right now. So I guess I just have to accept the reality of what is.

For now I make plans minute by minute. I may be on the west coast. I may be in the midwest. Hell I could even be on the east coast. I don't know where I'll be. But wherever it is I'll be there by Friday.

So, if you see a big ass truck towing a super hot muscle car driving down the road with a red faced hystarical blond...wave and be nice. I've had a long month.