Ahhh...now I remember. I can't believe I ever forgot. I guess that's a good sign. Maybe I'll forget again. Then again...maybe I'll be smarter next time.
I remember now why I was in denial for so long. I remember now why I refused to admit my feelings even to myself. I remember now why I stuffed them down in the deep dark corner of my mind. NOW I remember.
It sucks. Yup. That's right. It sucks. It's not fun. It's not exciting. It's not fantastic. It sucks. Why you ask?
I don't know. I'm touchy, emotional, neurotic, crabby, angry, and generally upset. I know what's going on. I know what he's doing. I know why he's doing it. I even expected him to do it, and I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not really surprised. I'm just touchy, emotional, neurotic, crabby, angry, and generally upset.
So, now that the grading sheets are back. Now that I have the results and realize I failed that test. Now that I remember the right answers. It's time to go back to what works. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt.
6 comments:
What the hell is going on???????????????
Word, SBS.
What is going on?!?!?
Same old same old ladies. Nothin really to report. Just the brain kickin in for a change.
Okay, I guess.
I just want to know that you're doing alright.
Your brain didn't fail. His heart did. You are completely loveable. You are capable of loving someone else. Apparently, he isn't. Or, for whatever reason, he is looking for something else. This doesn't mean there is one single thing wrong with you. It just sometimes happens. We can't control who we love, or when we love them, even if we'd like to think we should. Life doesn't work like that. It just doesn't.
Trouble is soooooo veeeerrrrryyyyy right....his heart failed. And, we can't chose the people we fall in love with....it does just happen.....as much as I wish otherwise....
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